Daddy Dances and A Powerful Kind of Tired

I'm trying really hard not to be a salty dog but there are so many kids on Facebook going to Dad and daughter dances tonight for girl scouts. The girls were watching Aladdin and I thought they were both asleep. I whipped out the phone and started biding my time until either (a) the movie … Continue reading Daddy Dances and A Powerful Kind of Tired

An Abandoned Applebees in Times Square and I Can Pretend to be Anything

I don't care if she's acting or not. This is me being interviewed by literally anyone. If I were a skinny Puerto Rican with a killer wardrobe, I'd be Aubrey Plaza. I can interview other people. I cannot be interviewed without becoming this. That line...I can't remember where it is in the interview but where … Continue reading An Abandoned Applebees in Times Square and I Can Pretend to be Anything

Kristen and Not Good At Life

"I'm not good at life." -Kristen High fiver, up top Kristen H! You and me both. https://youtu.be/5u3vHk9GJkw I needed some Mom humor tonight. I've been screamed at, I've been kicked, I've been told all the ways in which I suck. Just last night, as we were laying in bed and watching My Little Pony, Harper … Continue reading Kristen and Not Good At Life

Hanged Men and Roseanne is my Homegirl

This is a big, big day for me y'all. My homegirl is coming back. Roseanne is like my mascot. I grew up idolizing her. I wasn't raised in a family of loud women. The women in my family were quiet, and mostly well-behaved. They weren't weak. My mom definitely ran the show, I think, but … Continue reading Hanged Men and Roseanne is my Homegirl

Racist Cartoons and Dr. Livingstone, I Presume

First, I'd just like to apologize for this week's Tarot Tuesday. I'm not sure why I was struggling so hard yesterday but I was really in one hell of an ADD fog and I underperformed on that post. My bad, y'all. Okie doke. Checked that box. What's next? Ah, yissss. So cartoons used to be … Continue reading Racist Cartoons and Dr. Livingstone, I Presume

Introverts and the Produce Section

So here's a fun thing I've realized this morning: Introverts seem to take some sort of collective refuge in the produce department. Let me explain. I am painfully, radically introverted. There are reasons for it. I won't go into them here. Suffice it to say that although I inexplicably love my job, where I have … Continue reading Introverts and the Produce Section