Minchin Monday and Dewey Patrol

Well then.

It’s been quite the week. I worked. I went on DUI patrols,

I met a BMX racing legend.

I saw Aladdin drive by the art gallery on a motorcycle with his vest flapping in the air (it was a pleasant sight).

DUI – “Dewey” in the newsroom – patrols were fun. I have a serious issue with wanting to go first person on most of my stories. Have you ever seen “This is Life” or “Dark Tourist?”

Lisa Ling and David Farrier are lucky sonsabitches.

That’s what I wanna do every day at work. Unfortunately, sentencing court and commissioners meetings don’t tend to lend themselves to exciting first person experiences.

I know. I was shocked too.

But anytime there’s an opportunity to ride along with a law enforcement officer I’m all in.

I spent from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. with Chief of the Youngsville Police Todd Mineweaser drunk hunting. DUI, for those of you not from the United States, is “driving under the influence” of drugs and/or alcohol.

Usually alcohol.

It’s Minchin Monday, so I’m going to drop this right here before going any farther:

It’s not comedy, but it IS about day drinking, and sometimes we need some serious Minchin in our lives too.

Just as we all must eat our vegetables.

I, personally, really like vegetables so.

Anyhow. DUI patrols. I think what I like so much about law enforcement experiences is getting to see a really hot topic from the other side. There’s so much talk going on, and the internet lends itself to allowing for everyone with a passionate, emotional feeling about a topic to become an instant “expert,” spewing their opinions everywhere and pretending they’re based on anything other than subjective feelings one way or the other.

Are there shitty asshole cops?


Are there shitty asshole cops right here in Warren County?


But I have to take the really, really good cops here, who are decent people, and assume that the good outweighs the bad.


Todd’s cool.

He’s the least coppy cop I know.

Which isn’t to say that I mind coppy cops. I just like it when the dude I’m riding with can be a normal person even in uniform.

I dig it.

So we saw some shit. Did some shit.

It’s all here.

And here:

Saturday we took my mom’s dog – who is as much an anxiety riddled basket case as I am – for a walk in the woods. Which, I’m not surprised to be saying, chilled her tweaky little ass right out.

She basically passed out on the floor for the remainder of the day and I’m pretty sure her noodle was fully blown. I’m committing to taking Katie out for walks more often. Its good for me. The girls like it, and poor Kate gets some much needed stress relief as well. It’s a win all around.

Let’s see…what else?

Ah yes.

Got my Halloween business all sorted out.


Also, the caterpillar parade marches on.

I even made them (and hipster dbags) a focus of my column on Saturday.

Sunday was our lazy day. Banana muffins, brain quest, popcorn, art gallery, and blanket forts.

Brain Quest, though, you guys! I was looking around in my mom’s game chest for something to play with the girls Sunday and I came across my old decks. I had a bunch of them and that’s literally what I would do as a kid if I wasn’t patrolling the woods and/or pasture or reading a book.


Self-administered education for fun.

I have been such a loser for so long.

Also, see how I have two bowls of popcorn there? That’s because my kids have decided that anytime we’re watching anything longer than 30 minutes they need to also be snacking. But I like salt and pepper on my popcorn.

The kids – and most other humans – tend not to. So I have to make my own little bowl. The upside is that it’s mine all mine.


That’s fun.

Hmm…think I might be done for now.

Anybody ever do a ridealong with police? I’m so damn nosy I told Mineweaser I don’t think I could ever date a cop because I’d just be like, basically, the family dog who wants to go in the car every damn day.

Every day.

I would make the best goddamn sidekick, though.

Also, you better watch out. Because I was suspicious of literally everyone in Youngsville on Friday night. If it were up to me you’da all been getting shakedowns, ya maniacs. Mineweaser had to explain that not everyone who’s outside of their house after 9 p.m. is automatically a felon.

You’re lucky he was there to keep me in line.

Oh Lord.

Good times.

Poor Todd.

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