Dog Funerals and Book Proposals

I’ve been wanting to share the video of K9 Officer Choper‘s funeral, but it’s on Facebook and I’m not smart enough to embed Facebook videos and I hate nothing more than asking you to click a link to watch a video. I don’t like non-embeddables.

So. Here’s the gist of it, in a nice little collection of footage, and it includes Choper’s last call, which is the point in his funeral at which I started crying like a little bitch with a skinned knee and was forced to excuse myself from the newsroom before anyone hear the sniffling, lest all these damn men find out that I’m actually a total chick.

I started crying when Papouli died on Full House last night, just to give you an idea of how lost a cause I actually am.

And that’s nothing, compared to Choper.

All of my street cred disappeared the moment that my children exited my body. It’s sick.

Other than that, I’m all done with Choper coverage for the time being. Except to share his obituary, and my column on the subject.

Okay. Now I’m done.

Also, I’m working on a book proposal. I can’t really say a whole lot about it for the time being, but it’s related to the Pizza Bomber situation and it involves someone close to the case.

Let me just say that the story could only ever be told by one person in this whole world and I’m writing a book with her.

So.

There’s that.

But first we need to write a book proposal. Which is actually a process I don’t dislike. I enjoy most of the parts of proposal writing with the exception of competing/complementary titles. I don’t think it’s narcissism. I think it’s attentional issues. I just find it very, very hard to nail down gray areas like genre and which titles to include.

Okay. So, for those of you unfamiliar with the proposal writing process for book-length projects, what you have to do if you want to submit to a medium to large publisher (and you do, trust me, you just do) is get an agent. Even if you’re going to approach a smallish publisher, you still have to write a proposal. It’s basically your entire book on paper. Why your story is compelling. Why it’s relevant right now. Why anyone on earth would ever buy it. Who would read it. Why you’re the person who has to write it, why no one else could ever write it, and what it does better or differently from any other existing media on the topic.

What I love about this project is that it’s totally nichey.

Like, narrowing things down is really hard for me. Look at the word count on 99.99 percent of my blog posts and/or columns and my point is proven. I do not excel at brevity in any way, shape or form. So book proposals can be hard. Because Amazon is huge and how do you narrow down the list of books that could be related to yours to a list of ten or less? Like, how?

That’s not even a thing that my brain is capable of. Like math. Or real science.

My brain recoils in fucking abject horror.

But this book – the person with whom I’m writing this book – narrows itself right into its own little niche so neatly that I don’t really have to do much of that and my list of competing and complementary titles ain’t nowhere close to 10.

The uniqueness of the content is what makes me think this is a highly marketable book. I’m excited about the project.

I’ll tell you more as I’m able to.

I hesitate to talk too much about it until we’re out of the neonatal stage of the project.

Just in cases.

Alright.

That’s Friday.

Happy weekend, babies.

Xoxo.

 

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