I’d like to possess both, please.
And shank you. Shank you very much.
‘Twas on this magical, glorious day of our Lord (Vader) in 1977 that Star Wars dropped like an entertainment bomb of the most delightful variety on this godforsaken world of our’n. Six years later, in 1983…no, wait. That’s when I was born. Nine years later, in 1986, it changed my life forever.
I’ve been on a personal quest to find me a wookie companion since that day.
It’s not going well.
But, as with all things, I remain hopeful. As my continued not trying to kill myself proves definitively.
God, I really do need a wookie though. A good wookie is hard to find.
Except on TV. Where the majority of people I love reside, for the record.
I’m not sorry.
TV people are easy to love.
Yes. I am the type of person who falls in love with fictional characters too.
Everything is going to be fine.
As soon as I can convince Serverus Snape to come back to life and marry me.
Then, everything’s going to be totally, totally copacetic.
Speaking of 1920’s slang we should bring back again…
I’ve decided, thanks to a meme that’s been making its rounds, to start preparing to party the 2020’s away as if they are the 1920’s and we’re all in one big 21st century version of The Great Gatsby together.
Who’s with me? Basically we just have to learn to Charleston, drink medium to dark brown and amber colored things out of small, clear glasses with ice at all times, wear fabulous clothes and say things like “old sport” and “bee’s knees” at every opportunity.
It’s going to be easy.
And fun. Because who doesn’t love The Great Gatsby?
Let me start us off with some fitting 1920’s inspired tunes from the 1990’s.
Because they’re awesome.
Okay. So. If you’re going to be following along with my roaring 2020’s efforts, then you’re going to need to know the rules.
We shall listen to the following:
Cherry Poppin’ Daddies
Squirrel Nut Zippers
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Erik Ekstrand Ensemble
The Brian Setzer Orchestra
The George Gee Orchestra
Lavay Smith’s Red Hot Skillet Lickers
Royal Crown Revue
Or any traditional 1920’s artists.
We shall wear very, very fancy clothes that are primarily black, gray, and beige. Which works really, really well with my complexion and current wardrobe components. Also, rhinestones, rhinestones, rhinestones, my darlings. And delicious, curly, headbanded hairdos.
We will speak only, only, like Lily Rabe (Nora Montgomery) in American Horror Story Season 1 (Murder House).
And we shall reference this list of acceptable slang. We will also read Gatsby at least four times a year, and every party that we have will have yellow music.
That is all.