Kristen and Not Good At Life

“I’m not good at life.”

-Kristen

High fiver, up top Kristen H!

You and me both.

I needed some Mom humor tonight. I’ve been screamed at, I’ve been kicked, I’ve been told all the ways in which I suck. Just last night, as we were laying in bed and watching My Little Pony, Harper snugged right up against me in her Rainbow Dash onesie PJs and said, “mom, when I tell you you’re the worst I really don’t mean it, and I’m sorry.”

My heart melted.

Just ten minutes ago, Harper told me she wished she’d come out of Mannie’s body, not mine, because I’m the worst, because I wouldn’t clean up all of the shoes and coats she dumped on the floor in her search for bike helmets.

She’s basically the weather situation on a Caribbean island. Beautiful and warm or howling, and dangerous, and capital p Pissed.

You just never know.

Unpredictable chaos.

#triggerwarning

Kristen and Jen keep me sane.

And not much else.

Tonight, I am jealous of every mom with a husband. Or a boyfriend. Or a wife. Or a girlfriend. Or a nanny. Or a hetero life mate. Or a Kristen. Or a Jen.

Tonight would be a good night to tap out for a while.

Single moms get no tapouts.

We get wine and screaming into our pillows after the kids fall asleep.

Whatever works.

‘Bout to go get baths started but I got a Kristen and Jen notification and it made me laugh for several minutes so I took the off moment of the girls getting along and not needing me to share.

Them leotards, tho.

God damn, they are special. And Jen that booty tight, girl!

Update: Facebook comments make my heart smile.

2 thoughts on “Kristen and Not Good At Life

  1. “Can’t come to the phone right now, my shoulder pads are taking a walk.” I can’t appreciate momming, given that I don’t have my own little humans, but holy fancy feast these women are hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

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