Appreciation of Women and Hork Buckets

Well. It’s column day.

I’m following through on my commitment to parenting quotes.

I almost never read the paper. I spend all day in the newsroom and all of the reporters know what one another is working on. I don’t need to read it.

But I do always check out the layout and I’m always curious, on Saturdays, how my column is laid out in relation to the other columns for the week. It’s fun to see that many weeks, without intending it, myself and other columnists will wind up writing on complementary topics.

This week I was laid out next to Cody Elms.

And I have to tell you, his column wins the paper this week.

It’s nice to have someone admit that they can’t understand a person’s experience. It’s better than phony praise or hollow attempts to create empathy that’s not real.

And there’s a lot of contention surrounding femininity. It seems that no one quite agrees on the appropriate definition of feminism and femininity. It’s easy to be either too strong or too demure to meet someone’s definition of what women “should” be and do and want and make and demand.

It’s nice to have a man both acknowledge that he is neither able nor is he entitled to understand the experience of womanhood and also say thank you for just being. Not for being this or being that, but just for existing.

That’s how it’s done, boys. Ten points to…whatever house you’re in, Mr. Elms. I don’t know you well enough to play sorting hat.

But ten points.

I’m standing up and slow clapping right now.

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