Drunk Book Reviews and Mmmbop Shaming

Well, if I could unzip my exterior and shed it along with all of my social anxiety, it would absolutely be this bad bitch standing before you:

My internal monologue has taken physical form, y’all. And she’s fierce.

I never read Twilight. I just listened to everyone talk about it and took in all of the social references and assumed this book review about it and set my default Twilight response to “avoid.”

So I can’t shame myself for watching or reading Twilight.

But I can shame myself for being capital O-obsessed with Isaac Hanson in middle school.

Oh man. I had it bad for this big goofy weirdo.

He’s still not heinous looking. If I’m honest. Which I am. Even when it’s inadvisable for me to be so.

I was confronted by my shameful past on Facebook the other day, when someone shared this monstrosity:

In my defense, I was still too young and stupid to properly understand or experience shame.

Mostly, still am.

*UPDATE* WTF is wrong with the chicks in this video? Like, when they’re supposed to be singing along. You can clearly tell that someone just told them the chorus once, and was rushed when he did  it, and promised them screen time and they were like “yeah, I can pretend to sing that shit,” and then they got out there and what? What happened? Seriously!!! There is no cognition required to sing this song. None. Not one iota of thought needs to go into carrying off a lip-synced rendition of the chorus of “Mmmbop.” I’m truly amused because you can tell they were like three when this song came out and three is also exactly the amount of seconds someone spent preparing them.

Okay.

Apparently I still have strong opinions about, and emotional reactions to, this song. They’re just fueled by the rage that comes with wisdom and experience now, instead of lovesickery.

You know what, though? That’s actually growth, I think. Yeah. That…That indicates maturity. For sure.

/rant.

I’m out.

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